Let Your Hair Down
by Sammie704
Summary: Spencer is having feelings for a certain someone. When Hanna finds out that Spencer's been checking Emily out at swim meets she tries to get her two friends to couple up. Will Hanna get her way and will Spencer admit her feelins to her closest friend?
1. Chapter 1

Spencer stood rummaging through her locker grabbing all the text books that she would need for the weekend's homework. It was Friday afternoon and field hockey practice was cancelled due to the downpour of rain outside. She had spoken to her friends at lunch and mentioned that her parents were out of town for the weekend and asked about planning a sleepover. They had all been overly stressed with school and A that they just wanted some time to themselves. The four girls agreed that they would meet up at Spencer's locker before they left school.

Aria was the first to make it to Spencer's locker and leaned against the other lockers."Are we still on for tonight."

"Yeah, I hope so." Spencer replied, "We really need a break."

"Wow Spencer Hastings asking for a break!" Hanna laughed as she made her way to Spencer's locker with Emily.

"You know what I mean." Spencer rolled her eyes.

"I can't make it tonight; I totally forgot that I have to go over Samara's tonight. Can we schedule this for tomorrow?" Emily said with disappointment.

"Sure we can do that if it's okay with you guys." Spencer answered motioning over to Hanna and Aria. "That is, as long as you don't mind Melissa being around the house."

The girls all nodded and Hanna spoke, "Em, are you and Samara getting serious or what?"

"We're taking it slow, we're still just friends." Emily shook her head as she answered.

"Oh that's too bad. When are you guys thinking about sealing the deal?" Hanna asked.

"Like I said we are taking it slow." Emily said turning red.

"That's good Em, I- I mean we don't want you to get hurt again. Like with the whole Maya and Paige thing you know?" Spencer said quickly, she was babbling and Aria and Hanna stood by sharing a questioning look. "Um anyways, you two can still hang out over at my place."

"Sounds good to me." Aria said and followed the other girls outside to the parking lot. The rain had lightened up and they each gotten into their cars and said good bye to Emily.

Spencer made it up to her room with the girls following, each one carrying a mug with coffee. Spencer and Aria sat on the bed and Hanna sat at Spencer's desk.

"You know," Hanna Spoke, "I'm for Emily; I mean I think Samara's good for her and she's really nice. I'm almost jealous of how lucky she is."

"Yeah, you're right." Aria agreed, smiling.

Spencer let out a sigh and looked down at a book that sat opened on her bed.

"Are you all right Spencer?" Aria asked.

"Yupp"

"No, you're lying! Something's up, what is it?" Hanna asked but Spencer just shook her head. "Okay, so earlier, at school you tell Emily that _you_ don't want her to get hurt and then I mention Samara and I don't get it, what's wrong? Do you know something that we don't? Does this have something to do with A?"

"I know that we agreed that we wouldn't talk about A, but if there is something that A said, you need to tell us." Aria said. "We can't keep secrets; especially about A we don't know what they're capable of."

"I need more coffee." Spencer mumbled, as she left the room. The truth was, Spencer didn't even know why she was acting the way she was. Out of the three of them she was closest to Emily, yes she didn't want her to get hurt, but that was only because they were best friends and Spencer always felt the need to protect her , and her other friends for that matter. But it was different with Emily, or was that really it? _No, it can't be. _She couldn't secretly have a crush on Emily that just wasn't possible. But then again Emily made her feel a way that no one had ever made her feel before. Spencer was now thinking everything through as she set her mug on the kitchen counter and rested her elbow on her hand.

"Spencer?"

Spencer jumped and let out a slight scream, and then she realized it was Aria standing beside her. "Sorry I didn't see you there." She said as her heart nearly exploded then started to regulate.

"What's with you lately, Spence?"

"Where's Hanna?"

"Don't change the subject again. I know something's wrong and so does Hanna and unless you want her prying into her business, you should just come out with it. We promised we wouldn't keep secrets anymore, especially if it has to do with A."

"This has nothing to do with A, believe me."

"Then what is it?"

Spencer looked away from Aria. "I'm just really stressed."

"Does this have something to do with your love life, is it Toby?" Hanna asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"No, Toby and I are fine."

"Are you sure?" Aria asked.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Spencer, we know you, and we know something's wrong. This isn't your normal test on Monday stress. So if it's not Toby and it's not about A, then what is it?" Hanna asked, she hated not knowing things.

"Really it's nothing."

"Does Emily know?" Hanna asked because she knew Spencer told her everything.

"No, definitely not!"She answered quickly.

"So it isn't 'nothing'." Hanna grinned.

"Look I don't know what it is, Okay?"

"You can tell us anything you know that right?" Aria tried to comfort Spencer.

Spencer's cell phone beeped indicating that she had a new text message. She at her iPhone and sure enough the message was from A.

**Tell them what's on your mind,**

**Or I'll out you myself.**

**-A**

"What? Aria asked as Spenser gasped, "Who is it?" Spencer set her phone down on the counter and Hanna picked it up. "Spencer, you know what A is capable of, just tell us what it is."

"What did you do?" Hanna asked thinking the worst.

"I didn't do anything bad!" Spencer snapped.

"If it isn't bad then why don't you just tell us?" Hanna said rolling her eyes.

"I just haven't been felling like myself lately." Spencer began, knowing that what she said had come out wrong. "No it's more like I don't really know what I'm feeling, I just don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to feel."

"Do you want me to call Emily? It might be a whole lot easier for you to talk about this if she were here, because you guys are so close." Aria suggested.

"No!" Spencer declared nervously and Aria raised her eyebrows.

"Well if this has something to do with A we need to tell Emily too."

"I just— I think I need to tell you two first I can figure how to tell Emily later."

"Spencer you are killing me, spit it out!" Hanna begged.

Spencer took a deep breath then exhaled, "Guys I've never felt this way about anything, or anyone really." She took another deep breath, but before she could continue Hanna butted in.

"So is this about Toby?"

"Hanna let her finish."

"Not really, I just think I might be having feelings for someone else."

"Spence, that happens to everyone at some point in time. You lose interest in who you're with or, like you said, there might be someone else." Aria put her hand on Spencer's shoulder and gripped it, "It's okay." Aria had a way of making people calm down sometimes, and Spencer exhaled with relief she felt as though her secret was lifted off her shoulders although she still held on to it. Aria made it seem like no matter what it was she would be able to understand.

"Did you cheat on Toby!" Then Hanna's question brought Spencer back to the reality that she still held her secret.

"No, I could never do that to him."

"Then, this definitely has something to do with Emily, doesn't it?" Hanna said in a matter of fact tone, as if she already knew that she was right.

"Hanna sometimes you make me wonder about what goes on in that head of yours." Aria said as she gave Hanna a look.

"Um, I can't lie about this I need to be honest. Aria, Hanna's right, I'm having feelings for Emily."

"I knew it! You were totally checking her out at the swim meet last week!"

"Is it that obvious?" Spencer asked Hanna.

"Wait…What? I'm lost." Aria said as her forehead creased.

"Spencer obviously has a big crush on Emily!" The blonde said with a smile.

"I don't even know if these feelings are real. Do you know what I mean?"

"There is only one way to find out, you need to go on a date with her!"

"No way! I am not telling her!"

"Spencer, come on! You guys would be totally cute together!"

"She probably doesn't even think of me that way."

"And if you don't tell her you'll never know."

"Let it go." Spencer said in between sips of her lukewarm coffee.

"Spence I totally think this that this should be your decision, but Hanna has a point." Aria finally spoke after wrapping her head around everything that had just happened. "If you don't let Emily know how you feel about her, you will never know if she feels the same way." Spencer listened to Aria once again she felt completely calm.

"She's my best friend I don't want to lose her."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading this and thanks for the reviews! I really appreiciate them! This is my firs Spemily and Pretty Little Liars Fanfic so please give me critisism, good or bad lol Well I reall hope you enjoy this Chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

><p>Back at Spencer's house, the three girls sat in Spencer's living room.<p>

"Spencer, Emily is such an easy going person and whether, she feels the same way or not, she would never, stop being your friend." Aria said.

"Yeah Spencer you're hot and if Emily doesn't take up the offer, I'm sure some other girl would be happy to." Hanna said seriously.

"Hanna, that is not helping." Aria said giving her a stern look.

"What? I was being serious."

* * *

><p>The next morning Spencer woke up to her phone ringing beside her, it was Aria.<p>

**Don't listen to Hanna, **

**You tell Emily when you are ready.**

**-Aria**

Spencer let out a sigh and sure enough then next text she got was from Hanna, asking Spencer when she was going to tell Emily. She didn't bother answering Hanna and decided to get ready for the day. She threw on a white button up and a pair of her favorite jeans that fit her long legs perfectly.

* * *

><p>Spencer had just come home from a good tennis workout at the country club and hopped in the shower, by the time she change into her third outfit for the day it was 4pm, two hours before the girls would be here. With each minute that passed Spencer got more nervous than she had ever been before. Now that Aria and Hanna knew that she liked Emily, it would make being around Emily awkward and harder to keep it a secret. She hadn't talked to Emily since Friday when they left school and really wanted to see her again, but thinking about her only made her nervous.<p>

To get her mind off of the swimmer Spencer began to keep herself busy; she made herself lunch, barely ate any, then she rearranged the books on the shelves in her room, first alphabetical then in order of how many times she'd read them. If her sister saw her now she would have called her obsessive compulsive, Spencer on the other hand thought doing these things were good to keep her mind off of things. By the time Spencer had done her makeup, tried starting her homework and counted her money in her wallet, it was just past 5:30 and the doorbell rang.

Spencer took deep breaths on the walk from her room to the front door. When she reached the door she closed her eyes and took one last breath then pulled the door open to see Emily.

"Hey, come in." the tall brunette greeted, trying not to sound so nervous. "You can bring your things up to my room."

Emily followed Spencer up to her room, dropped her things on Spencer's bed then took a look around the room. "I see you've rearranged your books." She said laughing.

"How do you know that?"

"Well last time they were in order to by the authors last name, now they aren't."

"Wow you're good!" Spencer said in shock.

"I just pay attention to what you do, that's all. You're worried about something."

"No I'm not." Spencer said as she watched Emily walk around her room, because she was a swimmer Emily was in shape, she was wearing shorts and to Spencer Emily had never looked so sexy.

"Come on Spence, don't lie. You only rearrange your books when you are worried or nervous about something." As she said this she turned to look at the slender brunette and she realized she had been staring, in return the swimmer shyly looked away.

` "So," Spencer began to talk to Emily, as a thought crossed her mind, it wouldn't hurt to flirt a little. "what was that you said? You pay attention to what I do?"She took a step closer to Emily.

"I just—I know you really well. I know what you do and why you do it." Emily said being sure of herself.

"Are you sure? You really know why I do things?" Spencer asked playfully.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Spencer took a step closer with every word that fell from Emily's mouth, until she was so close that she could smell the spearmint gum that the swimmer always chewed. "Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."

"I th—"Emily was cut off by Spencer's soft, smooth, lips. Spencer had leaned in and kissed Emily full on the mouth. Not only was Spencer doing this because Emily was so hot and she couldn't contain herself, but Spencer also felt the need to prove to Emily that she didn't know what Spencer did all the time and why she did it.

To Spencer's surprise Emily was kissing back and the kiss was only broken by the sound of the doorbell being rung. Spencer bit her own lip as looked away from Emily and took off down the stairs. The doorbell rang twice more before Spencer could open it, and when she did Hanna and Aria stood on the other side.

"What took you so long?" Hanna asked

"Nothing I was in the middle of something" Spencer answered through her flushed face.

"Is Emily here yet?" Aria asked.

"Um, yeah she's upstairs."

"Have you told her yet?" Hanna asked.

"Not exactly." Spencer answered, but Hanna paid no attention to her.

The girls made their way up to Spencer's room where Emily already was, sitting on Spencer's bed. Spencer couldn't look at her; instead she looked down at her own shoes.

"So," Aria began as she noticed Spencer's discomfort. "do you have anything to eat, I haven't really eaten much."

"Yeah I made some pasta, does everyone want some?"

The other girls agreed that they were hungry too and they made their way to the kitchen. As they ate they talked about events that were to come up in the week, as well as test and when certain assignments were due.

"Emily don't you have a meet on Monday?" Hanna asked.

"Yes, but since when are you interested in sports?"

"I'm not, but I know—"

"I really wanted to go to the meet!" Aria said before Hanna could expose Spencer's secret. "You know what? I think I left something in my car, Hanna will you come with me to check?"

"I guess." Hanna answered with confusion then followed Aria through the back door.

"Hanna what are you doing?" Can you not see that it's already awkward enough between them?"

"I was just trying to help."

"That's not helping!"

Inside, Emily and Spencer sat across from each other in silence.

Finally Emily began to talk, "We need to talk." She nearly whispered. She wait for a couple of minutes hoping that Spencer would answer and when she didn't she spoke again. "Why did you kiss me?"

"I—I like you Emily." She sputtered.

"What?"

"I've felt this way for a while, but I couldn't admit it to myself, let alone tell you. The only reason that Hanna and Aria know is because A threatened me to tell them and I didn't know what else to do. Also I didn't want to tell you anyways because I didn't want to lose you as a friend. And when I kissed you I don't know what came over me it just happened! But" Spencer was about to go on and say something else but was stopped when Emily leaned across the table and kissed her gently. "What was that for?" Spencer blushed.

"You wouldn't stop talking." Emily laughed. "Spencer I do like you too, I wouldn't have kissed you back if I didn't."

"Emily, I just want you to be happy and I want you to be safe."

"Well I am happy and with you here I will always be safe."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Will you go on a date with me?" Spencer asked shyly. "I want to do this right and I've never liked anyone as much as I like you. You're also the first girl —"

"Spencer, you're babbling again." Emily laughed. "I would love to go on a date with you! Where are we going to go?"

"It's a surprise! Are you busy tomorrow, at 7?"

"No, I'm free, but I'm going to have to talk to Samara about us."

"Us?" Spencer asked nervously smiling.

"Yes us. What should I wear tomorrow?"

"Just a nice shirt and jeans, or whatever really, nothing fancy though." Spencer smiled; at this point she was really excited about going on her first date with Emily, she felt accomplished.

"Good." Emily replied.

Aria then walked back in with Hanna trailing behind her. "Sorry about that, I thought I left something in my car but I guess I didn't." Aria explained as Hanna rolled her eyes.

"Let's do something!" Hanna groaned.

"Like what?" Emily asked.

"I don't know." Hanna said and after a second of thought she decided, "Let's play poker!"

"Okay, sure everyone knows how to play right?" Spencer asked.

They played a couple hands and then Spencer left Aria and Hanna to play a game of 'Spit' by themselves while they sat on Spencer's carpeted floor. Spencer sat on her bed and watched Emily painting her nails at Spencer's desk. As music played from Spencer's iHome they could still hear the faint footsteps of Melissa walking throughout the house.

It was around eleven when Emily stifled a yawn. "I'm tired."

"I am too, super tired actually." Hanna said, and she looked it too. They had spent the last few hours eating junk food and playing random games like truth or dare, as they drank what was left of the Sky Vodka that Hanna had snuck over. There was barely any in the bottle to begin with and Hanna finished most of it leaving little for the other girls.

The four girls had already changed into their pajamas and Emily and Hanna had already fallen asleep in Spencer's bed. Aria just strolled in after changing in the bathroom and found Spencer logging of her laptop.

"Are you feeling any better?" Aria whispered.

"Definitely." Spencer answered then whispered back, "I told her."

"Really?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Yupp and I have a date tomorrow." Spencer Smiled

"That's great! I'm proud of you." Aria said as she saw the happiness on Spencer's face, Aria could only feel more proud of her, and she wrapped her arms around Spencer and gave her a hug.

Spencer hugged Aria back and whispered, "Thank you Aria, for everything."


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter isn't as long as the last one but I hope it's just as good as the last one. ****The next chapter will be up really soon I promise. Anyways I hope you enjoy it. :)**

Spencer was the first to wake the next morning, she dressed herself in sweatpants and kept on the shirt that she had worn to bed. She then tiptoed out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen. The coffee pot was still warm, indicating that Melissa had made herself coffee and already left for work. Spencer grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee, drinking it black, and then proceeded to the living room. Minutes later Emily came walking down the stairs still in her pajamas.

"Is there any coffee?"

"Yeah there's a fresh pot."

Emily came back out with a mug, taking small sips as she walked, and then set her mug on the table. Spencer was sitting with her legs folded under herself while her arm rested on the arm rest; she had set her mug down too.

"Are you the only one up?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah, Aria and Hanna are sound asleep."

Spencer motioned for Emily to sit down beside her. "They always sleep late." She said as Emily sat down and lied her head down on Spencer's lap.

"You still tired?" Spencer asked as she ran her hands through the dark sea of Emily's hair.

"Just a little." She admitted with a sigh, then sat up to look at Spencer.

"What is it?"

Emily leaned in and kissed Spencer, feeling her soft lips meet her own was another feeling entirely, even though she had kissed her before, she felt pleasure building up deep inside herself.

Spencer kissed back and playfully bit Emily's lower lip. She forced Emily's lips open and slid her tongue in, Emily deepened the kiss, she placed her hand on Spencer's neck and lowered her into the couch. Emily broke the kiss only to adjust her position so that she was sitting with Spencer underneath her, then she proceeded to kiss her. She lifted Spencer's chin with her hand and made her way to kiss Spencer's jaw line and then moved to her neck. A moan escaped Spencer's lips, and someone coughed loudly in the room. Both girls opened there eye's and broke apart, seeing Hanna. Emily hopped off of Spencer and stood up, and Spencer awkwardly did the same.

"So when did this happen?" Hanna asked with a smug look. "And why wasn't I informed?" Aria came slowly down the stairs barely hearing Hanna ask the girls her question, and she noticed the awkward looks upon her friend's faces.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." Emily answered, smoothing out her shirt.

"That didn't look like 'nothing'." Hanna raised an eyebrow.

"Hanna leave them alone." Aria said then with a sigh she added, "I need some coffee."

"Coffee it is." Spencer said in relief.

"If I didn't walk in Emil probably would have gone down on you right there." Hanna said elbowing Spencer in the ribs.

Aria was the first to leave, after getting a text from Ezra, and Hanna left shortly after her. Then it was just Emily and Spencer, in an empty house.

"So," Spencer started.

"Yeah, I have to talk to Samara today."

"What are you going to tell her?"

Emily let out a long sigh. "I don't know, maybe I'll tell her the truth, that there's someone else."

"I don't want her to hate me."

"Do you want this to work? I mean do you want us to work?"

"Of course I do, I like you Em." Spencer said sliding her hand across the table until her fingers met the spaces between Emily's fingers.

"Then I have to tell her today."

Spencer's face fell, "What am I going to tell my parents?" She sighed "And Toby, I hate to be the one to break his heart."

"Well Toby's really understanding, believe me. Your parents on the other hand, could be a different story." Spencer groaned at that. "Don't worry I'll stay with you if you need me to."

"It's okay, they come home tonight, I'll just tell them before we go out on our date."

"I promise, you'll be okay."

"Thank you." Spencer smiled, although inside she was more nervous than she had been when she had admitted to her friends that she was gay.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for meeting me here, Samara." Emily said as she nervously played with the ring that she wore.<p>

"No problem." Samara smiled. "What's on your mind?"

"I've just been thinking, about us."

"What about us?"

"Well are we serious?"

"Serious about what?"

"Well, there's someone that I really like and they asked me out on a date."

"Who is it?"

"Do you remember Spencer?"

"She's the tall, smart one right?"

"Yes her." Emily let her mind leave the conversation for a moment, remembering the early morning kiss she had shared with Spencer. "She's that asked me out."

"You're the one who wanted to take things slow, remember?"

"I know." Emily said, looking away. "Maybe I should just forget about it."

"Don't do that Emily. I want you to be happy. If you really want to go on that date, then maybe you should go for it. That day, when I met your friends, I saw the connection you had with all of them, I especially saw the way how you looked at her, and I saw the way she watched you, she really cares about you." Samara stared at the table. "I wanted us to work out, but as long as you have feelings for someone else, we can't. Spencer, seems like a good person, she will make you happy."

"I'm sorry." Emily said quietly.

"Don't be, just promise me that you won't forget about me."

"I promise."

* * *

><p>Spencer parked in front of Toby's house. Her hands shook as she killed the engine and stepped out of her Range Rover. She walked up the steps to meet Toby, who stood by the door. Spencer tried to look Toby in the eye, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.<p>

"Are you okay? You sounded a little stressed on the phone."

"I'm fine, we just need to talk."

"Hearing that from a Hastings makes me just a little worried." Toby said trying to make light of the situation.

"I like you so much. I want you to know that. You are an amazing guy."

"So if I'm such a great guy, then what could possibly be wrong?" Toby laughed.

"That's just it."

"What?"

"Toby, I don't know how to tell you this, but I—" Spencer took a deep breath "I-I'm gay." She looked at Toby who didn't _seem _mad. "It's Emily, I—I like Emily."

"How is it that the past two girls that I have dated turn out to be gay. And on top of that they like each other." Toby asked laughing harder than he had been before.

"'You're not mad?"

"No, I am a little disappointed though. I love you, Spencer. I don't want you to be with me if you like someone else. All I want is for you to be happy." She gave Toby a hug and rested her head on his chest. "So Emily's the luck girl." Toby said and laughed as though it didn't bother him at all, even though it did, just a little bit.

**Next Chapter Spencer Will have to come out to her mom and she gets to go on her first date with Emily.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you every one for reading this and for the reviews. I really appreciate it. I hope you keep reading as I write more. I hope you enjoy this chapter ;)**

Spencer was up in her room, getting ready for her date with Emily, which wasn't for another hour. After her talk with Toby, she had stayed with him a little bit longer and they had talked about whatever came to mind, including the date Spencer had planned for Emily. Spencer could hear the door being unlocked and opened downstairs. Anxiety kicked in as she heard her mother's footsteps. The last thing she wanted to do right now was to come out to her mother.

"Spencer?" Mrs. Hastings called out as she reached the top of the steps.

"I'm in my room." Spencer called back.

Mrs. Hastings stood at Spencer's door until Spencer turned around and noticed her. "We have reservations at the club tonight; would you be willing to come along?"

"I can't, I promised Emily that I would hang out with her tonight."

"Spencer, we don't really get to see each other much. Are you sure you can't just see Emily another night?"

"I—It's important, that I see her tonight. Can we just do this another night?"

"Okay. Is everything alright?" Mrs. Hastings asked concerned.

"Yes, why wouldn't it be?"

"You just seem a little tense, is all."

"I'm fine."

"Okay but if anything is bothering you, you can talk to me okay, you know that right?"

"Yes I know."

Spencer parked her Range Rover outside Emily's house, got out and proceeded up the steps and rang Emily's doorbell.

"Ready to go?" Spencer asked, glad that it was Emily that had opened the door and not her mother, she wasn't really ready for that confrontation just yet.

"Yes I am."

Spencer took hold of Emily's hand and they walked over to the car. Spencer opened the passenger side door for Emily to get in and then she walked over to her own side to let herself in. They drove for a while making small talk as they went while Emily tried to get Spencer to tell her where she was taking her. After a fifteen minute drive, Spencer parked her car at a local park, as they reached their destination. Both girls got out of the car, Spencer grabbed her bag from the back seat and walked over to Emily.

"Why are we at the park?" Emily asked, her eyebrows came together in confusion.

"Well, I wanted to take you on a first date but I didn't want it to be one of those clichéd first dates."

"Oh but I love cheesy first dates." Emily smiled.

"I promise, you'll love this. I have something to show you."

"Lead the way, Spence." Emily said taking the brunette's hand.

Spencer and Emily walked past a vacant playground that led them to a thicket that stood planted before some dense woods. Emily gave Spencer's hand a squeeze before they went any further.

"Don't worry, I've been here before, and I'll keep you safe." Emily gave Spencer's hand another squeeze but this time it was a reassuring one, Emily knew that Spencer would protect her.

It was nearly 7:40 when Spencer checked her watch as they reached a clearing in the woods; the sky was a beautiful shade of indigo and was so clear that every star could be seen.

"The sky is beautiful." Emily said in awe.

"Want to be closer?"

"To the sky?" Emily asked, confused.

"Mhm." The slender brunette smiled. "Follow me." The two girls moved deeper into the woods until they were at the foot of a large mass of rocks. Most of the rocks were nig and looked as if they were made to be climbed. "You go first, climb till you get to the top I'll catch you if you fall."

Emily took small steps, trying not to fall while Spencer stood close behind and watched her every move. Both athletes reached the top, barely out of breath. The top of the rock was mainly flat and smooth, Spencer reached into her bag and pulled out a large blanket and spread it out on the rock's surface. She then pulled out two sandwiches, bottles of water, and a large container of fruit salad.

"It's not much, I wasn't sure if you ate dinner already."

"You thought of everything." Emily said smiling as she grabbed a sandwich.

"You are too easy to please." Spencer laughed as she pulled one last thing out of her bag, a flashlight. "And, that is for our candle light dinner."

The girls both laughed and finished off their sandwiches while the talked, then they fed each other some of the fruit salad and then decided that they had enough.

"You know what they say about the stars?" Spencer asked as the girls lied on their backs, staring up at the stars and holding hands.

"What do they say?"

"They people of our past are there, watching over us. So when you feel alone, just remember that they will always be up there to guide you, and so will I."

"Spence, did you seriously just quote 'The Lion King'?"

Spencer laughed, "Yeah sort of. I just removed the king part and added people. Believe it or not I did watch Disney movies as a child."

"Oh really I thought it was just you propped up in your high-chair watching The History Channel." Emily joked. They laughed and then there was a moment of silence. "Do you think Alison's up there?" Emily asked quietly, there was another long silence while Spencer thought of how to answer the question.

"Yes, she's the brightest one." Spencer had known how much Ali had meant to Emily and she knew Emily was asking a serious question. Spencer pointed to the brightest star. "The North Star, that one right there, just off of the handle of the Big Dipper."

"Why that one?"

"Well for one, Ali would never let anyone out shine her, and second of all, The North Star will always guide you home, kind of like how Ali is to us. Ali binds us together, no matter where we are or what we do or how different we all are from each other we all have Alison, she is what keeps us together. She keeps us from losing who we are just like The North Star keeps us from losing our way."

There was another brief silencer, then Spencer heard Emily shifting over to lay on her side so that she could face Spencer. Spencer shifted her body too, letting go of Emily's hand. Emily took her middle and forefinger and began to trace Spencer's features. She ran her fingers over Spencer's eyebrows, barely touching her eyelids, brushed over her nose bridge down to her nose, softly pressed her fingers into her lips, drew out her jaw line, then she rested her thumb on the beauty mark that was placed upon Spencer's left cheek.

"You are beautiful, and thoughtful, and I love you." Emily whispered, and then stole a kiss from Spencer.

Spencer felt like she had fallen off of a tall building but had never hit the ground, it was like flying and she felt like there were no words to tell Emily about how she felt about her. Nothing could sum up how she felt and how much she loved Emily. "I love you too." She said simply and after their first set of 'I love you's' Spencer pulled Emily in and kissed her pressing her lips maybe too hard but Emily kissed back and forced entry into Spencer's mouth. Spencer pulled away and kissed Emily's forehead, then they got ready to head back to the car.

Spencer and Emily got to the car safely; both girls got in and buckled their seatbelts. Spencer looked over at Emily as she put her key in the ignition. "Em, you should know," Spencer whispered. "I haven't told my mom yet."

"Listen, Spence, just take your time. I can wait for you." She took Spencer's hand. "If it helps, we don't have to date, we can wait until you tell your parents. Only if that's what you want."

"No, I want to be with you more than anything. I just don't know how to tell them, in the right way."

"Well I'm always here for you."

Spencer leaned over and kissed Emily, before backing up out of her perking space and driving off. When they reached Emily's house both girls got out to walk Emily to the door. Spencer grabbed Emily's and walked up the steps to Emily's porch, then pulled her in close. She put her hands around the swimmers toned hips and kissed her lightly, breathing her in. "Good night Emily Fields." She said in a husky tone.

"Night Spencer." She smiled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, as she watched Spencer turn around. "Oh and Spencer, whether you tell your mom or not, don't be to hard on yourself, okay?"

Spencer turned around and walked back over to Emily, giving her a lingering kiss. "Thank you." Spencer smiled, "For worrying about me."

"Mom?" Spencer called out when she walked through the front door.

"In the kitchen." She heard her mother say. Spencer walked in to see her mother sitting at the table drinking coffee.

"I need to tell you something."

"Spencer, it's been a long day. Do you think this can wait for tomorrow?"

"No, it can't." All she could think of was how happy Emily made her and how she didn't want to be Emily's secret and that she couldn't keep Emily a secret from her mother. She needed to come out and tell her mother the truth.

"What is it?" Her mother asked as concern spread through her face.

"I—I don't really know how to say this, but I really need to say it and I—I really hope you understand what I'm about to say." Spencer said as her voice quivered.

"Is everything alright? Has something happened to you?"

"Toby and I broke up." Spencer, knew that this didn't matter much, at least not compared to what she was about to say, but she was just buying time. "But that's not what I need to talk about."

"I liked that boy what happened?"

"I, um I liked someone else, it was complicated." Spencer took more deep breaths before she began again. "You need to know," She gulped, she was anticipating the worst afraid of what her mother would say. Her head was spinning, she felt like she was drowning in her own thoughts. "Mom I—I'm pretty sure I'm gay." As Spencer confessed she breathed out way too much air and she had gone from her head spinning to actually feeling dizzy.

"Spencer are you going to be okay?" Mrs. Hastings grabbed her daughter's arm to support her and helped her into a chair, and then fully registering what her daughter had just said, her face fell. "Is that what you've been meaning to tell me?"

Before Mrs. Hastings could talk anymore a tear formed in Spencer's eye and rolled down her cheek. "I didn't want to be a disappointment to you, t—to the family."

"Being gay is not a disappointment."

"I don't want you to hate me." Spencer whispered.

"I could never hate you, you are my daughter. I am so sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't be yourself." Mrs. Hastings gripped her daughter's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was too afraid." Spencer said still whispering she felt light headed and didn't know what else to say, the last five minutes almost felt like a complete blur.

"Spencer, keeping a secret like this, after everything that you've been through, it will only make you more stressed. I hate seeing you like this." Mrs. Hastings gave a weak smile, obviously worn out by the day and the conversation they had been having. "I'm glad you told me."

"Mom, you should know, I went on a date tonight." Spencer just wanted to tell her mother now, while she had her mother's attention.

"With who?"

"Emily."

"That's good." She said knowing Emily was a good student and an athlete made the situation a little bit easier to get through. "It's late, honey, we'll talk in the morning."

Spencer smiled weakly to her mother and as she went to bed that night she didn't think about the conversation she had with her mother, Alison's death or about A, for the first time she went to bed much happier than she had in months. Spencer fell asleep with Emily in her thoughts.


End file.
